A couple I know are having their child "baptised" this weekend.

This demeaning ritual is taking place because at least one of them believes that, if later in life, the boy communicates telepathically with a cosmic Jewish zombie called Jesus to accept it as his master, the zombie can make him live forever. It won't do this without the head having been dipped in water.

I understand that the child may have to symbolically eat the zombie's flesh as well, and have an evil force removed from his soul that is present because the first female human was persuaded by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

They are educated people. It's 2008.